The Mother Dimension

There is the earth and sky, water and wind, and all other manner of forces that bind us together. Then, there is another dimension which can only be described as the Mother Dimension. If you have a mother or are a mother, you know what I mean. (This should include all of you, unless there’s something you need to share about which planet you’re from?)

I will attempt to define this portion of our being, this suspension between and above all other physical laws. It is indeed a place that has power over us like nothing can. Wherever we are on its bandwidth, either young or old, we are most likely experiencing angst or confusion or pressure about the fact that MOTHER is a very complicated word.

We begin by sharing the body, the fluid, the emotion and soul’s energy of our mothers, as we grow from the miracle of cells bathed in warm, life giving liquid, to that of a girl born into a world of cold, light and noise. We are tethered to our mother’s hopes, her fears, her courage and the pain of birth. We fight with her, cling to her, bargain with her and protect her, and yet we also flee from her. It is with one look or casual word from her, which either brings back the demons of a childhood gone awry or an adolescence nurtured through wisdom and patience. Let’s be honest, we have all experienced both.

We look at the outline of her face, tracing curiously a jaw line, a handprint, or a slumped shoulder that resembles our own to find meaning in our own biology. In a way, it is the closest of relationships and yet the one that must be severed in order to become individuals. The insidious poison inherent in apron strings once severed, can feed our maturity. Yet when we have children of our own, we reconnect ourselves to the Mother Dimension putting us on another course of mystery.

This is a heavy way to define mothers, but I find that all of the poetic quotes, stories and bouquets that flow in and around us this time of year, do not describe the intensity with which we manage and balance our life with and as mothers. It is a subject that we must explore and resolve, celebrate and repent from and use to build a lifeline with our inner selves. It is the key to resolving who we want to be and who we may have already become.

On May 26th,Networking, Women and Wine will sponsor and share some ideas about how to , 1. Survive being a mother, 2. Survive having a mother and 3. Reconciling the two. We will do it over a glass of wine, a hug and a smile, a gathering of women nurturing each other’s noble traits. JOIN US!

Your blooms are beautiful and valuable and unique!

I opened my blinds this morning to smell the clean air, and examine the pools of yellow water gather in my planters and the cushions of my outdoor chairs.  Beyond my patio the dogwoods are in full bloom. The forest floor, so exposed and barren only a few weeks ago, is alive with ferns, tree shoots, and the freshly dug holes by foraging deer.


I would like to have rushed the process. Winter affects me severely as I age, the darkness played havoc with my moods. In my mind, I pushed nature intentionally to begin her green parade. I wanted to hear the hearty croaking of tree frogs and watch fireflies weave through the branches like children playing hide and seek. I was certainly ready for spring before she was ready to arrive.

As we all know, nature obeys only her laws. When it is all said and done, there is luxury in her rhythms and her majesty. Her cycle of life is sure and predictable and her language is spoken with wind and warmth. However, each species is also individual and they dance to their own earthly music. There is no peer pressure for the trees that have yet to push out their adolescent blooms, no disapproving glances shot towards the river birch that has been showing off before any of her neighbors. Branches do not question their own worth. With thin, green fingers they reach as high as possible to gather the sun’s golden rays while creeping-roots extend and stretch through the loam for the secret rivers of moisture and nutrients.

What can we learn from this? First, the self worth of nature is sure and vibrant and graceful. Attaining wealth or status is moot. The cells are programmed already to flourish and survive without looking over their bark-covered shoulders to see if another tree is gaining on them. Not one umbrella of foliage worries it has come to the party with the wrong pedigree.

As we seek to balance our financial worth and our self worth, interrupted indeed by April’s forced contributions to Uncle Sam, we might retreat back into a sense of feeling stunted and limited. We may be frustrated about our lack of ability to show off our success because our plumes are thin and withered.

I challenge each of you to look deep inside and consider what it means to flourish, and to see that you deserve to stand tall. I want you to hold your posture high and know that your blossoms are beautiful and personal and spectacular! Your worth is about your uniqueness. Stretch high and reach for the sun and keep your feet anchored to a foundation of principals, and a love of life.

In April, Networking, Women and Wine will address these feelings. We will offer wisdom about ways to balance wealth and self worth. We’ll offer strategies for saving money but also thoughts about being generous with the things that cannot be counted or compared.

Don’t miss this chance to embrace the value of you!

Pink, sparkly wine and rose colored glasses

Something wonderful happened last night at our February Networking, Women and Wine event. We lept beyond the whole "I'm Jane and I am a sales rep." dialogue and went headlong into a "here's who I really am, and here's what I hope to learn as I connect with all of you women!"

The pink prosecco was the first giveaway that this wouldn't be just an ordinary Wednesday. Bubbling around the rim, it served as the rose colored lenses we intended to see everything through. There were no borders or judgements. Our theme of learning to love ourself was in every discussion, and as each person shared a struggle or idea, the rest of the group offered insights and solutions that were honest, experience based and encouraging.

Wedged between the French Pinot Noir and the Argentinian Malbec (both were phenomenally tasty and complex and sold for around $16!) we drifted away from the idea of going to an event to GET something and landed securely on the shores of GIVING. I would dare say that as we all departed, we felt more empowered, more balanced and certainly more freer to build our businesses and careers with confidence and imagination, all because we connected on a very authentic level.

When Carmen and I first threw out our intention for 2010 to be a year of balance and to nurture the noble traits of women we hoped it would touch each women in a very personal way. Last night was the expression of those hopes. All who attended and ventured into our realm of safe networking and wine education gained new tools for life, and left behind only the stain of lipstick on the rim of our glasses.

Join us for our March meeting to continue the healing, friendship and celebration!

Celebrate Yourself. You are a Hero for any moment of courage!

A recent conversation with a friend yielded in interesting insight. A bright, successful and attractive women, who, like many of us has dealt with struggles and previous choices that were self-deprecating and perhaps destructive, she seemed poised to start on any journey of her choice, Armed with maturity, a pedigree of success, and a wisdom borne through experience she emulated the woman we all want to be.

However, she was blocked by a recurring sense of self doubt that was keeping her from exploring the abundance and possibility before her. The seeds of this sense of helplessness surfaced because she felt she hadn't learned to completely overcome the moments of despair. She was punishing herself because she had to work hard at finding the courage to move forward at times when the demons she felt as a child, were pushing hard at her core. Mentioning the countless things she had accomplished, but labeling them failures because she couldn't emerge without having to navigate through her self-doubt, I turned to her and said,

"It seems to me you are not celebrating your times of braveness. You are not rewarding yourself for the great deal of courage it has taken you to learn to have this positive dialog with yourself to pry yourself from these moments of darkness.You must be your own cheerleader and celebrate what is your most courageous triumph; that of helping yourself to see that you can find the light."

I could see by the look in her eyes she had not thought about being her own coach and supporter. A new smile grew on her face as she touched my shoulder. She could see clearly that she had not seen or taken credit for the courage she truly had.

In this month of new resolutions, of change, and hope, don't forget to be kind and gentle with yourself. As you heap upon yourselves the list of resolutions you deem important, keep in mind that you must balance them with kindness and insight. Knowing that the true hero is one who knows fear and channels it. Only the fool rushes in without knowing the cost and the brave are always celebrated for showing their wounds.

Come celebrate your own courage, taste fine wine, and make meaningful connections with Networking, Women and Wine!

Balancing Your Resolutions With Reality

It's funny, isn't it. In the blink of an eye we have arrived to see a new year, a new decade, a new month simply appear before us. All around the clear, cold air seems to glisten with hope and possibility. The bobbles that adorn our trees, or the candles that lite our nights, or even the families that have shared our bathrooms; all have gone away leaving us alone with our conscience and our intentions.

Now that it's just you and that little voice inside your head, you're probably following the crowd by listing out your resolutions. One more carrot stick and one less caramel macchiato. One more sit-up and one less slice of pecan pie. It's a see-saw of giving up and replacing old habits with new ones. A willingness to ignore temptation, followed by a cardboard reward.

Hmmm. I don't know about you, but I doubt that I'll make it to September without a chocolate chip cookie. Good chance that breakfast will be one of those cookies before the week is out considering it's my husband's favorite and he can eat ANYTHING he likes. And of course, when it does happen -- when I fall off the wagon, I'll fall into a pit of cookie dough and vanish into the mixture like slightly beaten eggs and creamed butter.

Carmen and I have a different approach for you. Let's talk with a new language about change. Shall we? In fact,let's simply just 'do change' in a whole new way. We will, together, approach each shift in our lives with gentleness and mindful nurturing. We will create abundance through the desire to change, with the idea that we need balance to maintain new habits. And last but not least, we will seek to surround ourselves with what we're yearning for, without hearing that harsh wooshing sound as all our comfort foods, habits and vices vanish into an abyss of non-achievable goals. In short, you will grow and not even know it!

2010's theme this year is The Year of Balance. What that means, is that if you're going to create shifts, you must be conscious of how to replace them in a gentle, kind and conscious fashion with other meaningful things.

This month seek out other strong women who can nurture your noble traits as women. We'll enjoy and learn about wine, create a safe place to find meaningful connections, and offer you a place to begin your NEW YEAR OF INTENTION!