A recent conversation with a friend yielded in interesting insight. A bright, successful and attractive women, who, like many of us has dealt with struggles and previous choices that were self-deprecating and perhaps destructive, she seemed poised to start on any journey of her choice, Armed with maturity, a pedigree of success, and a wisdom borne through experience she emulated the woman we all want to be.
However, she was blocked by a recurring sense of self doubt that was keeping her from exploring the abundance and possibility before her. The seeds of this sense of helplessness surfaced because she felt she hadn't learned to completely overcome the moments of despair. She was punishing herself because she had to work hard at finding the courage to move forward at times when the demons she felt as a child, were pushing hard at her core. Mentioning the countless things she had accomplished, but labeling them failures because she couldn't emerge without having to navigate through her self-doubt, I turned to her and said,
"It seems to me you are not celebrating your times of braveness. You are not rewarding yourself for the great deal of courage it has taken you to learn to have this positive dialog with yourself to pry yourself from these moments of darkness.You must be your own cheerleader and celebrate what is your most courageous triumph; that of helping yourself to see that you can find the light."
I could see by the look in her eyes she had not thought about being her own coach and supporter. A new smile grew on her face as she touched my shoulder. She could see clearly that she had not seen or taken credit for the courage she truly had.
In this month of new resolutions, of change, and hope, don't forget to be kind and gentle with yourself. As you heap upon yourselves the list of resolutions you deem important, keep in mind that you must balance them with kindness and insight. Knowing that the true hero is one who knows fear and channels it. Only the fool rushes in without knowing the cost and the brave are always celebrated for showing their wounds.
Come celebrate your own courage, taste fine wine, and make meaningful connections with Networking, Women and Wine!