Monday, March 29, 2010
One cannot view this strutting display of architectural daring without thinking about the social scene within most women’s circles. Each enters the room adorned more brightly than the last. As women, we know that we will be inspected and reviewed, head to toe, by all the other women in the room. Compared, cataloged and then judged we will break up into groups wherein we feel comfort or an ability to blend in. Those who don’t will spend the evening either trying to break in, or feeling more desperate than before.
All men know women dress for women. Pocketbooks are not for comfort, they are for scale and show. Shoes are not for walking, they present that last bright exclamation of awe, and hair is certainly the crown of our ensemble. But consider this thought, even though the idea is to stand out; our natural chemistry as women is to find consensus, equality, and safety. Our hormonal balance is at its most efficient when we are comforting each other. So why do our actions seem to be in opposition to our true, inner needs?
Networking, Women and Wine speaks a lot of about ‘filling the vessel.’ What we mean is that all strength, all value and all growth comes from having balance inside us. Only then will our inner souls or vessels have the fuel and nourishment to nurture ourselves and others, see the path we’re meant to take, and find truth and peace in each day. Now it’s not that we don’t love talking about bracelets, cute shoes, fun earrings and the like, it’s just that in our meetings we talk opening and encouragingly and honestly about the hard, and judging dynamic we often create among women. We seek then to create a safe place for you to find new friends, to talk about your fears, your dreams, and your abilities as well as talk of uplifting things, with like minded women.
In April, as Uncle Sam smugly walks away with our hard earned money, we must find new ways to balance our finances. And we don’t mean taking a pen and balancing your checkbook. We going to talk about taking a mental assessment of the things that are dragging you down financially and how to find more value and joy in yourself and what you truly need to be happy. If you do consider joining us, this is not a gathering where you will feel like a stranger. In fact most of the women in our group say that you feel like you belong the moment you walk in.
Join us April 28th at D’Vine Wine to see what we’re all about!
For purposes of becoming at peace with time we must understand that there is no other moment than now, no other place than here, no other decision than ours, no other emotion to choose but joy. Each is a miracle because is authored by us. We have the free will to make it wonderful!
1. Don’t spend ANY more time worrying about what others think of you. Whether it’s your kids, your mother, or your neighbor, free yourself of this burden. You cannot control their thoughts, and truly they are seeing you through their lens. Your ability to move forward without looking back will free you of these shackles and give you more time to achieve, dream and renew!
2. Eliminate the toxic elements of your life. This means people, activities, habits, even language. Although this requires a bit more courage, being truly honest about the things that drag you down, and deciding to purge yourself, will lighten your load. This may mean that some people who have been in your life for a long time will no longer occupy any or all of your life. But you must determine this with honesty and a true desire to move forward.
3. Slow down your rhythm and the elegance of life’s timing will be in your favor. I travel 10 miles up 521 to the freeway. The speed limit has just been changed to 45. I am constantly being passed by people who I again meet at a stop light. It is turning green for me and I rarely stop. They have been fuming for 30 seconds waiting for the green. We inevitably arrive at the on-ramp at the same time but the difference is I enjoyed my journey. No one takes time from you, and no one creates it. Each moment exists in perfect, sequential harmony. Make each moment that ticks meaningful, only you can do that.
4. Do things right the first time. From dishes, to laundry to filling up the car with gas, make it right and do it well. Even though it may take a few more minutes, you’ll be free of the task when it is done. Those little minutes that you’re trying to save by hurrying, will, without some sort of discipline, multiply like bunnies when you return to complete the task! Take pride and focus on one thing at a time. Give each task its due and respect. Assign every minute honor and awe. Squeeze the life and color and melody out of each second and it will, in turn, play music that makes life rhythmic.
5. Access experts and mentors. Yes, we often make fun of the men in our lives for not asking directions. But as women, we like to think we can figure anything out ourselves. Although we don’t discount our ability to multi-task, if you have found you need a little help, save time by asking someone who has already shortened the curve. Need to know when to turn the roast down from 400 degrees to 325? Call mom. What does that red light means on the dash? Call Manny at the station. Need to know how to make your DVD recorder work? Call your 5 year old niece.
All of these tips are meant to work in harmony. As you add each to your life they will create a more quiet and obvious path for you and you will be living more honestly and with wellness. This is the key to nurturing your noble traits!